We are excited to share some thoughts on the love language of words of affirmation in your children.

Over the years, there have been many discussions about the power of our words; and the encouraging or destructive words of parents, teachers, and friends and their effects on us. 

Today, the powerful influence of words is evident in the various media platforms that our children and we are active on daily. These words children love others to tell them how well they are doing. Their favourite words include ‘well done’, excellent work’, ‘terrific’, you’ve done a good job’, ‘you did it’ to give a few examples.

These children thrive on compliments, praise, and hearing that they are loved and doing well at school and at home. Their love bucket is topped up, especially when they are praised while other people are close by. Handwritten notes of praise stuck on their door or bedroom mirror will work wonders for these words children. These children need positive words spoken around them as much as possible. Specific affirmation and admiration works well for these children.

Be cautious when affirming your love for your child during times of discipline. Never say to words children that ‘you love them, but…’ This will convey a message that your love for them is conditional. In a world where cyber bullying is a reality, our words are vital to all our children, no matter their ‘love bucket’ or love language.

Another very important point to remember when disciplining the word affirmation child is that all insults cause irreparable harm and can never be reversed. Discipline has to be with love and words of positivity and empathy. Be cautious with the use of degrading and hurtful words during reprimands.

These children believe that words really do matter as it expresses how they feel on the inside. Well-chosen words of encouragement and gratitude will boost your child’s confidence and set them on a positive road to their future.

Michele DeMarco, a family therapist says the following regarding love languages:

“Love is the strongest and healthiest form of human bonding and belonging. It’s that generative ‘felt sense’ deep inside that ties and binds us—emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually—to another person. Language is a system of symbols and rules that people use to express and share meaning. So, a love language, you might say, is how we communicate or share the deepest, most essential parts of ourselves.” 

She also says the following regarding the love language of words of affirmation:

“Appreciation is at the heart of having words of affirmation as a love language. It recognises quality over quantity and substance over appearance. It promotes empathy and compassion and helps to keep us calm and content.”

Appreciation is essential when showing love to a child whose love language is words of affirmation. These children thrive on sweet expressions of love and positive reinforcements using compliments and praise. Words carry loads of meaning to these children.

Phrases like ‘you’re so special to me’, ‘Mom is really pleased with you’, ‘I couldn’t have done this without you’, ‘I’m so proud of you’ and ‘I’ve seen your hard work,’ are the words that these children will thrive one.

Until next time,

Keep Sparkling!

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