The aspect of service is our last blog post in the series of the Five Love Languages of Children. We will touch on children who are motivated by acts of service. These children demand quite a lot of attention when it comes to someone doing their chores or duties for them.

Parents and family members need to be cautious that they do not jump to every command of these services motivated children. Occasional assistance is great, but they have to realise that there are duties that they have to perform as well, a valuable life lesson, especially at school and later in the workplace.

These services children need to be reminded daily that they will always have to take ongoing responsibility for duties and chores in their lives. A great idea is to set up a rewards system for everything they do for themselves. In doing so, be cautious to spend time with them while they are doing these acts of service. After all, this is how they top up their ‘love buckets’, but they need to feel loved while doing this.

Take a look at the Hopinol Skopinol™ ‘Star Chart Game of Chores to assist you with motivations and rewards for completed chores that are well done. A bonus with this interactive game is that children learn to foster lifelong skills, and the game prepares your children for adulthood and their future.

A reward for these children could be a day out together, a one-on-one date with Mom or Dad and by doing this, you will cover all five of the love languages that all of our children have in varying degrees. e.g. a reward for completing acts of service, will lead to spending quality time with them, while adding words of affirmation during this precious time together, and a little gift will top up all the very important ‘love buckets’.

We encourage you to have fun with your children as you discover their specific love language and top them all up while you are at it. Each child has a varying degree of all five of the languages and one precious hour a day is sufficient to top up all their ‘love buckets’ with a special reward of time, patience, and undivided attention.

We are happy to complete this series with a delightful little story about Katy, aged nine, who shows dominance in three of the five love languages. These are her mother’s words: ‘Time, touch, and gifts are her love languages. When she was a little, she would ask me to tickle her back or massage her. She still does that, but before she could even talk, this was the only thing that used to calm her down. She would bring little gifts to me when she was at nursery school. One day she brought me a rock that she had spent weeks trying to get out of the place where it was lodged. She said it was for me because it was ‘Zen’ and the rock looked like it had crystals in it.

She always wants me to spend time with her and play games with her. Katy gets really upset if she doesn’t have my undivided attention and says when I am on my phone while spending time with her, that I don’t love her.’

Until next time,

Keep Sparkling!

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